Love is respect – National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline

We had a little Halloween party for our staff and peer advocates yesterday. We ate too much candy, watched some scary movies and had some very creepy visitors…

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Hope your Halloween is (or was) a happy one!

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Hi Everyone,

I recently participated in It’s Time to Talk Day – a day for focusing on the issue of teen dating abuse hosted by Liz Claiborne and loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. I was really excited to be invited, but before taking part, I spent some time researching dating abuse and domestic violence. Though I knew it was an important issue before, I found some statistics at www.loveisrespect.org that surprised me. Did you know that 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner? But it’s not just physical abuse - 1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family. When you put it that way, it’s easy to see that dating abuse probably effects someone in your life, whether you know it or not.

I hope you’ll take the time to visit the newly updated loveisrespect.org for info on dating abuse and healthy relationships, quizzes, the Teen Dating Bill of Rights, and if you need it, a direct link to live chat with a peer advocate. Please take the time to educate yourself. Even if you’re not in an abusive relationship, you may be able to help a friend or family member.

Thanks,

Camille Winbush 

*I’m featured in a new PSA for loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. Watch for it!

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We’re so excited about the newest entries to the loveisrespect video contest. Thanks to all who have entered and please keep them coming! Remember: top prize is a trip to NYC and judges include Tim Gunn and Jaslene Gonzalez.

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loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline is sponsoring a video contest in conjunction with the launch or our new (and improved!) website and PSA. Teens between the ages of 13-18 can enter until December 1st. A brief rundown of the rules and info:

Make your own video based on the theme of dating abuse and the Teen Dating Bill of Rights. This could be as simple as you reciting the Dating Bill of Rights, but any genre is ok: animation, documentary, music.

Don’t use copywrited music or images in your video.

Use our logo or mention loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline in your video. *Logos can be downloaded here.

Judges include America’s Next Top Model Winner Jaslene Gonzalez and Project Runway’s Tim Gunn.

The Grand Prize winner gets a trip to NYC (with a parent).

Please read the complete, more boring version of the rules. We really don’t want to disqualify your video. Thanks.

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Last night I went to the movies with my friend and her boyfriend. He forced her to leave half way through the movie because he thought she talked to another guy on her way to the bathroom (he’s crazy). I’ve told her before she should break up with him, but she doesn’t listen to me. What can I do?

Seeing your friend treated this way sounds very frustrating, especially when it seems she doesn’t care about her happiness as much as you do. And you’re right – there is probably something wrong here. Her boyfriend sounds extremely jealous and controlling, which can be one aspect of an abusive relationship. However, you can’t fix this problem for her. Ordering her to break up with him will probably only push her closer to him and possibly further from you and her other friends.

What you can do:

• * When you are alone with your friend, tell her that the incident at the movie theater bothered you and that you’re worried about her.
• * Tell her you won’t try to make her decisions for her. Tell her you will be there to talk to if she ever decides she needs to talk about her relationship.
• * Try not to say negative things about him – it will only make her feel defensive of the relationship or even feel sorry for him. Instead, focus on the positive things about her and her life.
• * Encourage her to think about adults she could talk to if she ever needed to.
• * Refer her to loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. Let her know all calls and chats are confidential and anonymous. She may not seem interested, but at least she will have the information if she decides she needs to talk.

Friends and family are welcome to contact us too – so if you’d like to talk more about your friend, please give us call (or chat with us).

*all of our calls/chats are confidential. this question is a an example of one we get often.

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We wanted to thank The Today Show for including the segment Is Your Teen Being Abused? on this morning’s show. The guest, Sara (a member of the Liz Claiborne Teen Task Force), did a great job of telling her story of surviving an abusive dating relationship. Plus, at the end of the segment our phone number and website was given and we saw an immediate increase in number of calls and visits to our website- which we always love.

For now, you can view the segment through The Today Show website.

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Here at loveisrespect.org we get a lot of emails and messages via MySpace about volunteering with the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. We really appreciate the interest (really). But because we are concerned about safety and the ability to remain anonymous for those that contact us and our volunteer advocates, we are only able offer volunteer opportunities in our Austin office.

If you do live in Austin, please look into volunteering. If you don’t live in Austin, this blog will feature specific ways you can get involved in working against dating and domestic violence right where you are. So please keep reading our blog through www.loveisrespect.org or through the blog feature at Myspace.

A simple way to get involved today is to spread the word about dating abuse and our services. Our resources page features mini-posters, quizzes, and cards you can download and print to post at school, work, or wherever. Also, you can show you support loveisrespect by adding one of our badges to your website or MySpace profile.

But an even simpler way to help us is to help those around you. If you know of a friend involved in an abusive relationship, please find a safe time to give them our contact information. One of our peer advocates would be happy to talk to them. If you’d like help figuring out how to talk to your friend, or you just have questions about dating abuse, please feel free to chat with us or call too.

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Thanks for visiting loveisrespect.org and our new blog.

If you haven’t heard of us before today, we’d like you to know that loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline provides peer advocacy via phone or live chat. If you need to talk to us about dating abuse, please contact one of our advocates.

Going forward, our blog will be a place to read about loveisrespect news, healthy relationships, dating abuse, and ways to get involved working against dating and domestic violence in your own community. We’d also love to hear what you have to say. So if you’d like to comment, go ahead. And if you have a story or idea to share, please let us know.

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