loveisrespect Blog

The peer advocates at loveisrespect know that dating abuse happens in all types of teen relationships, including same sex relationships. We take calls and chats every day from GLBTQ teens and talk to them about healthy relationships, safety planning, and if they’re ready, how to end an abusive relationship.

When any of our callers/chatters need help with issues other than dating abuse, we try to give them a resource that can help. As part of our new and improved blog, we’d like to feature those resources on occasion - today we start with the Trevor Project.

Oftentimes, GLBTQ youth have needs that fall outside the area of dating abuse. In these cases, a great resource for GLBTQ youth is the Trevor Project. The Trevor Project has awesomely fabulous advocates to help out with all sorts of life problems that GLBTQ youth could be going through. That’s why we were thrilled to see the Trevor Project profiled by CNN today. Congrats, Trevor Project, keep doing what you’re doing!

Find more information by visiting www.thetrevorproject.com, or calling 1-866-488-7386.

I really want to break up with my girlfriend, but she says that if I do, she’ll tell my family that I’m gay. I don’t want to see her anymore. She freaks out if I talk to any of my friends, and she always has to know where I am. But my parents don’t know that I’m a lesbian, and I’m afraid of how they’ll react if she tells them. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

Obviously, it’s really unfair of your girlfriend to put you in this situation. She is trying to keep you in the relationship by blackmailing you. An abusive or controlling person will often make threats to reveal secrets to friends or family in order to have control over their partner.

It sounds like you really want to end this relationship, and with good reason. Hopefully, she won’t follow through with her threats if you do break up with her. You shouldn’t be forced to come out to anyone before you’re ready. If you think she is serious, you may even want to consider telling your parents first - but that is up to you. An organization like the GLBT National Youth Talkline can offer you peer counseling concerning coming out and parent issues.

We hope you’ll also call or chat with one of our Peer Advocates about your relationship and ending it safely. Our advocates are trained to help teens in any type of dating relationship. Your call or chat will remain confidential - you don’t even have to give your name. You can call 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 TTY) or chat with us through www.loveisrespect.org.