At loveisrespect we get asked this question all the time. Having a partner cheat on you can be a gut-wrenching, extremely difficult experience, but only you know if it’s abuse.
It all depends on context.
If your partner cheated on you and you are wondering if it’s an abusive act, ask yourself these questions:
- Does your partner also threaten you with violence, physically hurt you, call you names, try to control where you go or what you wear, criticize you or blame you for hurtful things they say or do?
- Does your partner serially cheat on you and then blame you for his or her behavior?
- Did your partner cheat on you intentionally to hurt you and does he or she threaten to cheat again?
- Did your partner cheat to prove that they are more desired, worthy, etc. than you are?
- Do you find yourself apologizing after you get upset with their behavior?
If you answered ‘yes’ or even ‘maybe’ to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Chat here on the site or call us at 1-866-331-9474. We can help you sort through these feelings.
An important note: if it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not right. If your partner cheated and you don’t think you want to continue the relationship, then you shouldn’t, whether the relationship is abusive or not.