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Moving On After a Break Up

A familiar chatter surrounds Rihanna after last week’s premiere of her controversial video for her latest single “We Found Love.” The video opens with a monologue about the difficulty of moving on after a break up. The narrator saying things like “You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important – that without them, you feel like nothing,” and “When it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you could have the good.” For the remainder of the video, Rihanna and her music video boyfriend act out the sequence of a romance that quickly spirals from unhealthy behaviors to an abusive relationship. We don’t know what Rihanna was trying to say with this video, but the dizzy, hard-to-watch storyline has viewers questioning its parallel to Rihanna’s former relationship with singer Chris Brown.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be a mix of emotions. As you begin to move on and find yourself again, you may feel overwhelmed with memories of the good times you and your ex spent together. It is perfectly normal for you to have feelings of regret or miss your partner. Longing for closure to a relationship is a common feeling after any break up, but remember that it may not be safe for you to contact or meet up with your ex once it’s over.

Keeping your mind off of your ex can be extremely difficult. You may be questioning where the relationship went wrong or why the happy times had to end. We know how hard it is to move on, so here are some ideas to distract you and help you move forward:

  • Watch every season of a show on Netflix. (We recommend Dr. Who or 30 Rock.)
  • Start training for a 5k. The first step is to make an awesome work out playlist.
  • Finish (or begin!) that novel you were working on once upon a time.
  • Watch these YouTube videos: Tickling Slow Loris, Little Girl Singing Super Bass, Here it Goes Again.
  • Volunteer at your town’s animal shelter.
  • Explore your city’s food scene. Cruise Groupon, LivingSocial and other sites for great deals and invite some friends.
  • Get involved at school or in your community. Audition for a play, try out for a soccer team or join the Ultimate Frisbee game at the park.
  • Learn to knit. Winter is coming—wouldn’t it be cool to have a scarf or socks (or both!) that you made yourself?
  • Write in a journal about how your feeling. Don’t forget to write down all the cool things you’re doing!

Moving on isn’t just about getting over you ex. It’s also about realizing that you deserve to be respected and cared for in a relationship and spending some time being happy with yourself. What do you do when you’re feeling down and need a pick-me-up?

Do you still feel like you need a little help getting started moving on? Chat, call or text us. An advocate is waiting to talk to you.