By Maggie Smith, loveisrespect intern
Seventeen recently published a piece on “flirting fails” and why to avoid them. In it, guys ages 20 to 21 describe flirting techniques they’ve witnessed and didn’t like. Whether or not they realize it, these guys just read the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship before it even started!
If you or someone you’re flirting with is using one of these “flirting fails,” it’s time to rethink the strategy and move on to healthier, more appropriate ways of wooing.
Flirting Fail #1: Public Display of Awkward
Public displays of affection can be harmless, but it’s important to discuss with your partner what they’re comfortable with. If you haven’t had the chance to ask, it’s best to be conservative and leave your partner with a lot of personal space.
Flirting Fail #2: Hey, Jealousy
Deliberately trying to make your partner jealous isn’t healthy — it’s manipulative. Whether it’s you who’s flirting for attention or you’re the one being made to feel jealous, recognize this method is blocking you from developing a healthy relationship.
Flirting Fail #3: Dislike (a.k.a. Cyber Harassment)
Sending lots of unwanted text messages, emails, voicemails, etc. is a stalking behavior and not part of a healthy relationship. It’s important to remember that both you and your partner have the right to personal space and free time, and both of you should respect that.
Flirting Fail # 4: Sloppy Firsts
A sloppy first impression becomes harmful when it’s creepy or uncomfortable. Try to be extra careful if alcohol is involved and pay attention to your own safety and the comfort level of the person you’re meeting.
Flirting Fail #5: Stalker Status
It’s easy to get carried away with trying to get to know someone you really like. But make sure your flirting behavior is appropriate and won’t make your crush uncomfortable. The same rule applies once you’re in a relationship — talk about boundaries and then respect them!
Trust your instincts when it comes to what’s ok with you. Chances are unhealthy behaviors won’t feel right, so don’t ignore them. And if someone you’re pursuing communicates that you’re making them uncomfortable — back off. You don’t want to be the person in one of these articles!
Have you or someone you know experienced any of these flirting fails? What did you do to deal with them?
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