Should We Get Back Together?

By Nicole Seligman, a loveisrespect advocate

I know you said you were never, ever, ever getting back together with your ex, but now you’re having second thoughts and aren’t sure what to do. It’s ok! We wrote up a little checklist to help you decide.

  • I feel that I can communicate openly with this person about anything that’s bothering me without getting into an argument.
  • I respect this person’s boundaries and I know that they respect mine too.
  • I trust that this person isn’t lying or cheating on me without having to go through their phone or social media to make sure.
  • I do not feel afraid that this person might lash out at me verbally or physically.
  • I know that this person would never pressure me to do anything I’m not comfortable with.
  • I would never try to make this person do anything that they haven’t consented to.
  • I recognize that I can only control my own behaviors and am not responsible for anyone else’s.
  • I’ve seen significant and continuous change in this person or myself when it comes to the reasons the relationship ended.
  • We encourage each other to spend time outside of the relationship with friends and activities.
  • I feel that I am treated as an equal by this person.

Is there an item on this list that you weren’t able to check off? Getting back together may not result in a healthy or safe relationship. Still unsure? Talk, text or chat with one of our advocates 24/7.

3 replies


  1. brook lnn
    brook lnn says:

    cristina how can i get back with a guy that i turely love and by the way i am 14 and this guy name is masion how can i get him back because i cry almost every day about him?

  2. Randa Dean
    Randa Dean says:

    I think that this is a very helpful checklist. I have had multiple friends that have broken up with their partners, just to find themselves sucked back into the same relationships over again. I will be sure to tell them about this site and the helpfullness in it.


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