Putting Media to the Test

This post was written by Mikaela, a loveisrespect advocate.

Here at loveisrespect, we’re all about building and nurturing healthy relationships, but unfortunately the media is not always on the same page. As much as we love ‘em, a lot of our favorite movies, songs, video games, etc. are failing miserably when it comes to depicting relationships in a realistic and healthy way. There’s a widespread misconception in media that drama = passion and possessiveness = caring, and while those ideas may look romantic on the big screen, in the real world they are anything but.

In honor of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we’ve decided to dissect some media and put it to the test. The Healthy Relationship test, that is! Below are the music videos for three chart-toppers from 2014.

To test them, we’re going to focus on both the lyrics and the imagery. The lyrics are important, but they only tell us half the story. Every music video is full of unspoken messages in the ways that the characters look and behave, and sometimes those pictures are worth a thousand words.

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Dealing with Rejection

Have you ever been rejected by someone you really liked? Maybe you tried to talk to someone you had a crush on, and they totally ignored you. Maybe you asked out that cutie from chemistry, and they said no. You probably felt disappointed, embarrassed, sad, upset, or maybe a little angry.

We get it – rejection’s not fun, so how do you deal with it?

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Response to Creepy JB Fanvideo

Justin Bieber is hosting a contest for his fans to introduce his new fragrance “Girlfriend” by writing a version of his song “Boyfriend.” One video stood out among the others. This video showed an unblinking Belieber telling Justin all the perks he would get to enjoy if they were a couple, such as being stalked online, tracked with a recording device and being called constantly. It’s creep-tastic. Check it out:

We at loveisrespect laughed at what we are hoping was a joke. We then put our resident MC Brian to the task of writing a response. Here’s what he came up with.


What do you think of Brian’s take? Anything you would tell this fan girl?


What is Online Stalking?

You like your friend’s picture or status, so you click the “like” button and leave a quick comment. You read a tweet that is hilarious, so you quickly retweet it. While these interactions may seem harmless, when these behaviors are done by an online stalker, they’re anything but innocent.

Online stalking is using the internet, primarily through social media, to harass another person. This includes all forms of harassment including coercionverbal abuse and threats. Stalkers can become obsessed with gathering as much information about you as possible because of the power it gives them. A stalker may use your social media sites to know where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with or other personal information.

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5 Stalking Myths Debunked

January is National Stalking Awareness Month. The National Center for Victims of Crime wants everyone to take the time this month to learn a little about stalking and to raise awareness about the dangerous issue.
Do you know the truth about stalking? We’re debunking the myths to make sure that when it comes to stalking, you can know it, name it and stop it.

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Stalking on Campus

Photo courtesy of KennethMoyleCollege is great for your love life. Being able to set your own rules and curfew, away from Mom and Dad’s watchful eye, can mean more freedom and time to pursue relationships. However, dating in college also comes with some specific challenges to consider when you are ready to take the leap. Since dating in college might mean living down the hall from your partner or seeing them every day in Biology class, stalking by a former partner becomes more of a risk. Here are some things to think about to keep yourself from that situation:

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When Courting Gets Creepy

A lot of us want to know: was Jim Carrey being creepy or funny when he sent Emma Stone his video love letter? In case you’ve missed the story, a video circulated yesterday in which Jim Carrey declared his love for Easy A actress, Emma Stone, saying that if he was a lot younger, he’d love to have, “chubby little freckle-faced kids” with her, and went on to describe their imaginary future in his mind.

Check it out:

Today, Huffington Post ran an article declaring it a joke, and yet, there are still a lot of people waiting to laugh.

It didn’t phase the actress who re-posted the video on her official website and teased, “I was a huge Jim Carrey fan. Now I’m not sure if I should be flattered, or seek an order for protection? lol” Stone later said she knew it wasn’t serious, and tried to calm her fans who admitted they were freaked out for her.

All kidding aside, we at loveisrespect think this brings up a good topic: what is healthy courting? Pretend for a moment that we’re not talking about two comedians. What if these were two normal people, and the person being pursued didn’t want the attention?

What rights do we have when we’re being approached?

Healthy dating extends to the pre-dating period too. You always have the right to feel comfortable in ANY dating-related situation.

Have you ever heard someone say that they “wore down” someone by constantly pursuing them? That’s not healthy. When a person says no to a romantic advancement, they deserve to be heard. Someone who continually keeps at it when the attention isn’t wanted is ignoring the boundaries of the other person. When you ignore someone’s boundaries, you’re not allowing them to have control over their situation.

Playing hard to get is one thing. Playing “please-stop-calling me” is another.

If you’re the one who is being chased, know that you’re completely within your rights to tell the other person to stop. Talk to them seriously about it, so that they know how much it’s affecting you.

If the situation is going too far, you have the right to get help. Being harassed online? Report the person to Facebook. Hit the Report/Block option on the left hand side underneath their profile picture, or defriend them. Many other sites, like youtube, have a “report” function too. You can always tell a teacher, a parent, an RA, a coach, etc. Or call us and we’ll talk about options. Constant unwanted courting is borderline stalking. You deserve to feel safe.

We’re not saying Jim Carrey is stalking Emma Stone. We’re saying that if Stone felt unsafe, she would be completely in her right to do something about it. Just like you do if you’re ever caught in that situation.

What’s your take on this story? Have you ever been caught in the crossfire of attraction gone creepy?


Freaky Or Funny? You Tell Us

Have you seen the latest Virgin Mobile/Android ad series, “Kelsey and Brad”? If you haven’t, they’re posted below, but here’s the gist: crazy girlfriend sits in tree or closet, stalking her potential new boyfriend. Eerily illuminated by the light filtering through the slated wood of the closet door or moonlight, this girl spastically checks her boyfriend Brad’s Flickr albums, his Facebook account, his Twitter stream and where he’s checked in on Foursquare. The commercial speaks to the low rates of Virgin Mobile’s latest call plan and then cuts quickly back to psycho hiding out just in time for her to say, “Crazy, right?”

Yes, Kelsey. Crazy.

Here’s our question – does this commercial make you laugh? From the font used, to the music playing, it’s clear that the marketers are referencing scary movies for a laugh. Yet we’re not the only one’s who find this campaign slightly… off.

In an AdFreak review, David Kiefaber shares:

“I don’t like where Virgin Mobile’s “Kelsey and Brad” series of ads is going, because there’s only one logical way for it to end. Now that Miss Crazy-Go-Nuts has set up shop in a tree outside Brad’s kitchen window and (in the second spot, after the jump) in one of his spacious closets, it won’t be long before they’re pulling a sheet over Brad’s body while Kelsey babbles on about being able to check his Flickr stream from the back of the squad car. Someone cast Brad in a New Balance commercial, so he can run the hell away from all this.”

What are your thoughts? Is this cute or creepy? Tell us in the poll below:

What do you think of this commercial?

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Stalking: What it looks like & how to get help

We’ve all heard of stalking. We’ve heard people jokingly say it in reference to Facebook, we’ve seen movies with it and we know that it’s often talked about as an issue for celebrities. But it’s also a real and serious problem that affects regular teens often, especially because of technology. So what is it? And what can you do to get help? Well, let’s take a look.

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