If you watched last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, you witnessed a scene that involved dating abuse between one of the couples. It happened during an argument, when one of them grabbed the other by head.
The couple, Kailyn and Javi, have recently moved in with each other and are still adjusting to the stress that comes with it. In this particular argument, Kailyn was upset with Javi for not taking the couple’s two large dogs outside while she had friends over.
After yelling at Javi to take the dogs outside, she went into their bedroom, yelled some more and then grabbed or shoved Javi’s head. Contrary to what her friend says later on, ‘at least you didn’t punch him in the face,’ what Kailyn did is abuse and there are not different levels, only right or wrong.
After the incident, it seemed Kailyn was distraught about what happened and swore she would work to change.
Can Someone Change?
Possibly, but it’s not quick and it’s not easy.
By the end of the episode, Kailyn had begun to reach the first step needed to change, which is admitting her behavior was wrong.
It’s a Choice.
At the beginning of the fight scene, Kailyn said the extra dog had been stressing her out. The dogs then become the source of the argument. After she grabbed Javi, she said she was just so frustrated she couldn’t control herself. But she’d made the choice to engage in abusive behavior while she was walking up the stairs and she announced she was going up there to (and this is putting it nicely) mess him up.
Learn to Communicate.
In healthy relationships it’s important to communicate things that are stressing you out so they don’t keep building up inside and come out in an unhealthy way.
Take a second to breathe if you find yourself getting really angry. Step back from the situation and try to calm down before approaching your partner.
Listen to what the other person is saying. If you’re upset you want to be heard, but it’s just as important to respect what your partner has to say if the two of you are going to come to a compromise.
Kailyn and Javi’s argument escalated quickly with no real communication.
If she wants to make it work with Javi, Kailyn will have to work hard and focus not just on anger management classes but also an abusive relationship program to get to the root of her problems.
This usually cannot be done alone and requires professional help. If you or someone you know needs help, you can always chat with one of our advocates for resources in your area.
You Can Only Change Yourself.
Toward the end of the episode, Javi said he wanted to do something nice for Kailyn because of the tough times they’d been having.
It’s common for someone getting abused to take it upon him or herself to make the situation better. Unfortunately the only person we can change is ourselves. Sometimes, even if you love someone, it is best for everyone to step away from the relationship while the other person works to get help. If you do decide to distance yourself for a while, your partner needs to respect that. Every relationship is different and we’re here to help you find out what’s best for yours — even if it’s not the same as what Javi chose to do.
Have They Changed?
Thinking boxing classes might solve her problems is a potential red flag that Kailyn’s still not taking full responsibility for her decisions.
We’ll be watching as the season unfolds to see if she’s truly ready to change.
If you’re wondering if someone in your life has changed, take our quiz. It’ll help you see if there are any red flags you might be overlooking and if they’re committed to change.
Tell Us What You Think!
What did you think when you saw the argument?
Will Kailyn work to get help?
Do you think someone can change?
Let us know below!
Stay Tuned for the Next Post:
Looking the other way: Why didn’t Kailyn’s friend say anything during the fight?