Healthy LGBTQ Relationships

A healthy relationship is a healthy relationship regardless of your sexual orientation. If you’re wondering about yours, take our relationship quiz and see how you score.

Abusers may say that disrespectful or violent behavior in a LGBTQ relationship is normal, but it’s not. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and queer (LGBTQ) youth have healthy relationships at similar rates and in much the same way as heterosexual couples.

I Am LGBTQ. Is My Relationship Healthy?

Healthy relationships all look different. What they have in common is being based on equality and respect. What they don’t have in common is how they’re structured or who’s in them. In fact, healthy LGBTQ relationships are often characterized by how resilient, creative and unique they are. It can be hostile out there -- why shouldn’t your relationship be a safe space where you’re free to be yourself? Some signs of a healthy relationship include:

  • Respects your chosen gender pronouns or name.
  • Respects your boundaries.
  • Gives you space to hang out with friends and family without thinking you’re cheating.
  • Doesn’t take your money or tell you what to buy.
  • Never threatens to out you to people.
  • Never tells you you’re not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or whatever you identify as because you don’t have sex the way they want you to.

My Relationship is Unhealthy or Abusive

If you’re LGBTQ, you can face unique obstacles to seeking help, especially when you’re first coming out. Know that you are not alone and there are places that can help. Chat with a peer advocate or check out our referrals to learn more. We can help whether you're ready to end the relationship or not.

If you're in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you have many options -- think about how to build your support system, plan for your safety and maybe even get a domestic violence restraining order. 

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