The following Video Diary depicts a common type of abuse teens may experience in relationships – isolation/exclusion. This is categorized by controlling what another person does, who he/she sees or talks to, what she/he reads, where she/he goes, limiting outside involvement and using jealousy to justify actions.
Jenny is keeping Adam from his friends and family. She is texting him constantly and she is always keeping tabs on him. Those are all red flags of an unhealthy relationship.
Peer Advocate Advice:
These days, juggling schoolwork, extracurricular activities, dating, a job and an active social life is just part of being a teenager… sleep is optional.
In a healthy relationship, each person is allowed to have their own friendships. No one has the right to control another person’s activities or approve their friends.
Mike can tell Adam that he thinks the texting crosses a line, but he shouldn’t badmouth Adam’s girlfriend. Someone in this situation needs to know they can talk to their friends about it without being pressured to break up.
Jenny’s keeping Adam from his friends and family. She’s texting him constantly, and she’s always keeping tabs on him. Those are red flags that this is an unhealthy relationship.
Isolating you from the people you love, limiting what you do, harassing you, being jealous, suspicious or paranoid– these are manipulative and unfair actions.
If you’re in a situation like this, consider the following tips:
Tip 1: Not answering and turning off your phone is always an option. And it’s OK to do it.
Tip 2: Remember, you have the right to decide what you want to do with your time. Your partner should never try and make you choose between your family and friends and them. When someone tries to pull you away from other people in your life, that’s a sign that they want to control you.
Tip 3: Contact loveisrespect to talk to an advocate about your situation. We can help you indentify some of the controlling and isolating behaviors.
If you have a friend in a situation like this, consider these tips:
Tip 1: Don’t give up on your friendship even if you don’t agree with the relationship. If your friend’s partner wants to isolate them, that means your friend needs you even more!
Tip 2: Sit down with your friend and check out loveisrespect.org together. Let them know you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to talk.