A terrible thing has happened. You found out your partner cheated on you. What happens now?
For some people, cheating means an automatic break-up. But others may still have feelings for their partner, and depending on the circumstances they may want to try and keep the relationship going. A lot of people who contact us ask: how do I build trust again after my partner cheats?
where r u?
who u with?
y havent u txtd me back??
Do those texts sound familiar? When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s natural to want to spend as much time with them as possible. Checking in with your partner – whether it’s to see how their day went, or to confirm that date for Friday night – can be one way to let them know you’re thinking of them. But checking in becomes checking up if it’s driven by insecurity or jealousy. Attempting to control a person by checking up on them is unhealthy behavior that can quickly become abusive.
How can you be sure that your partner is checking in and not checking up? Start by asking yourself these questions:
Here at loveisrespect we talk a lot about self-care. We talk about when you need it (always), who should do it (everyone), and why it matters (because your emotional/mental well-being is SO important), but we haven’t really talked a lot about what it actually is, so here we go!