Looking the Other Way: Why Didn't Kailyn's Friends Speak Up?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 11:45 -- kdudley

Kailyn and Javi weren’t the only people involved in the fight on Teen Mom 2 this past Monday. Even though they chose to remain silent during the argument, Kailyn's two friends played a role.

Whether we know the people involved or witness dating abuse in public, we become what is known as a bystander and as bystanders we have the responsibility and ability to diffuse aKailyn with friends situation.

When the girls spoke about the fight afterward, neither told Kailyn her behavior was wrong. Instead they downplayed her actions saying it could have been worse.

As we talked about in the last post, Kailyn says she wants to change. The first thing she needs to do is take responsibility for her behavior. Her friends downplaying or justifying it doesn’t help the process.

So what can you do if you find yourself in Kailyn’s friends’ situation?

Don’t Mind Your Own Business

Whether your friend engages in the abusive behavior or endures it, you can stop the situation by simply butting in. Let both people know the behavior isn’t right. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, starting a conversation about anything with one of them might disrupt the situation enough for everyone to take a step back.

Treat Them Like a Friend

We talk to our friends about everything, so why not dating abuse? Kailyn’s friends should be there for her, but also hold her accountable for what she did. It’s the only way she can begin to work toward change.  We want our friend to know they have our support, but their behavior is wrong.

If your friend is exhibiting abusive behavior, try to think of it from the other person’s perspective. You’d never want your friend to experience abuse, so don’t look the other way while they put someone else through it. Remind them that change will create a better, healthier relationship for both of them.

Remember, you’re not turning against your friend, you’re helping them have a healthy relationship.

Call, chat or text us 24/7 if you need ideas how to bring up the conversation. 

Tell Us Your Thoughts

What did you think of how Kailyn’s friends handled the situation?

Would you have done something different?

Let us know below! 

 

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Comments

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on

My daughter's friends watched her being abused by her boyfriend on several occasions. They did not do anything as they were afraid of the boyfriend and what he might do to them. He has a violent past and reputation. It breaks my heart that they allowed this to happen to my daughter and no-one came to me to tell me. It's absolutely not right to stand by, but their fears prevented them from helping her.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on

I don't think any person deserves to be treated bad or threat. I think that a lot of times we (women) are scared to reach out to the people we should trust because we are afraid of being judge and mistreated by the other people we are trusting. We need to teach our love ones that it's okay to ask for help and its okay to speak out! Because we are here to help them and guide them when they need to. Friends that are watching other friends being abuse should do something if they are also afraid of the abuser than maybe they should talk to the victim's' family members and help them find a safe solution for the victim and themselves. I am really sorry to hear that about your daughter I really hope her situation stops so she could move on with her life and never again go through the same things.