Should We Get Back Together?

Thu, 10/10/2013 - 02:28 -- cristina

By Nicole Seligman
Loveisrespect Peer Advocate

I know you said you were never, ever, ever getting back together with them, but now you're having second thoughts and aren't sure what to do. It's ok! We wrote up a little checklist to help you decide.

  • I feel that I can communicate openly with this person about anything that's bothering me without getting into an argument.
  • I respect this person's boundaries and I know that they respect mine too.
  • I trust that this person isn't lying or cheating on me without having to go through their phone or social media to make sure.
  • I do not feel afraid that this person might lash out at me verbally or physically.
  • I know that this person would never pressure me to do anything I'm not comfortable with.
  • I would never try to make this person do anything that they haven't consented to.
  • I recognize that I can only control my own behaviors and am not responsible for anyone else's.
  • I've seen significant and continuous change in this person or myself when it comes to the reasons the relationship ended.
  • We encourage each other to spend time outside of the relationship with friends and activities.
  • I feel that I am treated as an equal by this person.

Is there an item on this list that you weren't able to check off? Getting back together may not result in a healthy or safe relationship. Still unsure? Talk, text or chat with one of our advocates 24/7.