Do you know how to identify unhealthy relationship behaviors when you see them? What would you do if your friend was experiencing abuse? Find out by watching the short video clips below. Then choose the answer you think accurately depicts the situation. You’ll see what’s really going on and what you can do to help. At the end, find out how you did.


Julie

1. Does this sound like a bad thing or part of an intense, but normal relationship?

What’s really going on?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of controlling behavior. Joe is trying to control Julie with his constant texting, and that’s not ok! There is actually a term for it: digital abuse. A respectful boyfriend wouldn’t mind that his girlfriend is out having fun with friends. Joe should trust Julie when she can’t text back right away instead of getting upset. Joe’s behavior is a warning sign that this relationship is not healthy. A good friend would let Julie know this without being judgmental.


Carla

2. Teen relationships sometimes include alcohol use and sexual exploration. Was Max right to get annoyed at Carla? Was she leading Max on? Should they even be drinking in the first place?

What’s really going on?

The correct answer is 2. This is an example of sexual pressure. Drinking alcohol under the age of 21 is illegal, but even when it happens it’s important to know that it’s not an excuse for hurtful behavior. Max shouldn’t have pressured Carla to have a drink or have sex. It’s never ok for someone to do this. Max was out of line, and she has the right to let him know. Carla’s friends should support her and let Carla know that it’s her decision to have sex when she’s ready.


Michael

3. Michael may not have ended up with any bruises but he was physically hurt. Was Shannon just frustrated and showing it the only way she knew how? Was her behavior ok?

What’s really going on?

The correct answer is 2. This is an example of physically violent behavior. Both guys and girls can be the victims of abuse. What Shannon did was physically abusive, even if Michael doesn’t have any bruises. No one — regardless of gender — deserves to be pushed, threatened, insulted, stalked or hurt. Everyone gets upset, but putting your hands on your partner is never the right way to deal with anger or frustration. A friend would let Michael know they’re concerned with Shannon’s behavior.


Leah

4. Is sending a topless picture to your partner a big deal? Doesn’t it seem like a lot of people do this? Is Leah’s friend being manipulated by her boyfriend?

What’s really going on?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of manipulation and potential sexting. Sarah’s boyfriend is preying on her trust to get what he wants –- a naked photo of her. Manipulative behavior is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. A good friend would tell Sarah as much. Sarah should only text photos of herself that she doesn’t mind everyone seeing. It’s also important to be aware that there are laws about sending nude photos of anyone underage. Even if Sarah took the photo herself, if she is under 18 years old, there could be legal consequences.


William

5. Is Paul in the wrong? Perhaps Paul is still figuring out his sexual identity or feeling insecure in his first relationship, and William should give Paul some slack.

What’s really going on?

The correct answer is 3. This is an example of insulting and demeaning behavior. Emotional abuse is just as serious as physical abuse and it happens in all types of relationships. Even if William feels relieved to be in a same-sex relationship, if it’s not based on respect and equality, it’s unhealthy. William has options, like calling or chatting with a peer advocate. A friend of William’s would let him know that he deserves a better relationship and that he can talk 24/7 to the advocates at loveisrespect.org.

How Did I Do?

1-2 Questions Correct: You need to work on identifying key warning signs. 

3-4 Questions Correct: You’re on the right track. Learn more ideas on how to be a good friend.

5 Questions Correct: Congratulations! You know what it takes to build a healthy relationship.

If you or someone you know is in abusive relationship, our peer advocates are available 24/7.

Disclaimer

The young people in these videos are actors and their described experiences are not real. But these scenes depict common situations that young people encounter every day.

Shout Out

We’d like to give our amazing partners at Be Smart. Be Well. a special shout! They built this quiz, writing the content, making the videos and figuring out how to get the whole thing to work online. All we did was advise. Pretty cool, huh? Show them some love by liking their Facebook and Twitter.