- Controlling what you do, who you see, who you talk to, what you read, where you go
- Limiting your outside involvement
- Using jealousy to justify their actions
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Peer Advocate Advice
In a healthy relationship, each person is allowed to have their own friendships. No one has the right to control another person’s activities or approve their friends.
Isolating you from the people you love, limiting what you do, harassing you, being jealous, suspicious or paranoid — these are manipulative and unfair actions.
Jenny’s keeping Adam from his friends and family. She’s texting him constantly and always keeping tabs on him. Those are red flags that they’re in an unhealthy relationship.
Mike can tell Adam that he thinks the texting crosses a line but he shouldn’t badmouth Adam’s girlfriend. Someone in this situation needs to know they can talk to their friends without being pressured to break up.
It’s Like My Relationship
If you’re in a situation like this, consider the following tips:
- Not Answering or Turning Off Your Phone is always an option. And it’s ok to do it.
- You Have the Right to Decide What You Want to do with your time. Your partner should never try and make you choose between your family and friends and them. When someone tries to pull you away from other people in your life, that’s a sign they want to control you.
- Contact loveisrespect.org to talk to an advocate about your situation. We can help you identify some of the controlling and isolating behaviors.
It’s Like My Friend’s Relationship
If you have a friend in a situation like this, consider these tips:
- Don’t Give Up on your friendship even if you don’t agree with their relationship. If your friend’s partner wants to isolate them, that means your friend needs you even more!
- Check Out loveisrespect.org Together. Let them know you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to talk.