Are you a good partner? Answer yes or no to the following questions to find out. Make sure to write down your responses. At the end, you’ll find out how to score your answers.
- Forget to thank my partner when they do something nice for me?
- Have trouble making time to listen to my partner when something is bothering them?
- Text or call repeatedly until I receive a response from my partner?
- Get upset when my partner wants to hang out with their friends or family?
- Take out my frustrations on my partner, like snapping at them or giving them attitude?
- Tease my partner about things they’re insecure about?
- Tell my partner who they can and can’t hang out with?
- Expect my partner to get my permission before joining a club or activity?
- Drive past my partner’s house or job to make sure they’re there?
- Accuse my partner of flirting or cheating even if I’m not sure that’s what happened?
- Criticize my partner’s body or appearance?
- Read my partner’s texts, login into their social media accounts or go through their email without their permission?
- Make my partner feel guilty about things they have no control over?
- Sometimes say things to my partner knowing that they are hurtful?
- Talk down to or embarrass my partner in front of others to make a point?
- Intimidate my partner when I’m mad by throwing things, hitting walls or driving dangerously?
- Go further sexually with my partner even if I think they don’t want to?
- Shove, slap, choke or hit my partners when I’m angry or they did something wrong?
Scoring – So Are You A Good Partner?
For every yes, give yourself the following points:
Questions 1-5: 1 point
Questions 6-10: 3 points
Questions 11-14: 5 points
Questions 15-17: 15 points
Now that you’re finished and have your score, the next step is to find out what it means. Simply take your total score and see which of the categories below apply to you.
Score: 0 Points
If you got zero points, it sounds like you’re very mindful of your actions and respectful of your partner’s feelings — these are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Keeping things on a good track takes work, so stay with it!
Score: 1-5 Points
If you scored one to five points, there may be a couple of things in your relationship that could use a little attention. Nobody is perfect, but it is important to be mindful of your actions and try to avoid hurting your partner. Remember, communication is key to building a healthy relationship!
Score: 6-14 Points
If you scored five to fourteen points, it’s possible that some of your actions may hurt your partner and relationship. While the behaviors may not be abusive, they can worsen over time if you don’t change. Read about the different types of abuse, so that you can keep your relationship safe and healthy.
Score: 15 Points or More
If you scored five or more points, some of your actions may be abusive. You may not realize it, but these behaviors are damaging. The first step to improving your relationship is becoming aware of your unhealthy actions and admitting they are wrong. It’s important to take responsibility for the problem and get help to end it. An unhealthy pattern is hard to change, so chat with a peer advocate for more information on how to get help.