The following Video Diary depicts a common type of abuse teens may experience in relationships – intimidation/threats. Intimidation is characterized by someone making you afraid by using looks, actions and gestures, smashing things, destroying property, abusing pets or displaying weapons. Types of threats used by abusers are threats to do something to hurt another, threatening to leave, commit suicide or to report her/him to the police, making her/him drop charges or making her/him do illegal things.
Kyle’s actions are all red flags of an unhealthy relationship. When he smashes his cell phone, pins Sarah’s arm back and threatens to kills himself those are methods of intimidation and threats. Watch the video and read our peer advocate advice!
Peer Advocate Advice:
Telling someone what to wear is controlling. And even if you have a disagreement, it shouldn’t become a screaming match.
It can be hard to watch a friend go through something like this. It’s ok to tell them they deserve to be treated with respect. No matter what your friend decides to do, make sure they know you’re there for them no matter what. You can’t control other people’s decisions, and you’re not responsible for their actions. But you can make healthy choices for yourself.
If you or someone you know hears someone say they’re going to kill themselves, it’s time to tell an adult you trust, or give us a call at loveisrespect.
When Kyle smashed his cell phone against the wall, when he pinned Sarah’s arm back and when he threatened to kill himself, those were all serious red flags of an unhealthy relationship.
Breaking things, getting up in someone’s face, using your strength to scare or hurt someone, or threatening to hurt yourself, are all dangerous and really scary. It is unacceptable.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is using threats or intimidation to control what you do, consider the following tips:
Tip 1: Save the threatening messages, whether it’s on MySpace, Facebook or a text message.
Tip 2: Tell someone you can trust about what’s going on, whether it’s a friend, parent, counselor at school or anyone who could support you through this.
Tip 3: Consider keeping a journal or diary of events.
It’s okay to care about someone and not want them to hurt themselves. If they say they are going to harm themselves and you feel like they might be serious, let them know there is help out there, and give them the suicide hotline number.