Beyonce blew the internet away with her latest visual album, “Lemonade.”In this new album, Beyonce takes viewers/listeners on a roller coaster of emotions by describing her journey through trust issues, lies and infidelity in her marriage to Jay-Z. She starts by describing her intuition about her partner cheating, then she works through denial, anger and hurt, accountability, and in the end, she talks about the decision to forgive. We wanted to explore some of the feelings and behaviors that Beyonce mentions in her new songs, because even though we love Bey, we did find a few things a little concerning!
As we’ve said many times, in a healthy relationship partners should respect each other’s boundaries, no matter what. In the first couple of “Lemonade” tracks, Beyonce sings about how she suspects that her partner might be cheating and how she chooses to deal with these feelings. Bey states: “How did it come down to this? Scrolling through your call lists.” She also talks about her partner coming home at late hours, being deceptive and always having excuses. Beyonce describes what a lot of people have experienced, and it can be so painful to suspect or realize that your partner has violated the boundaries of your relationship. However, it’s important to remember that although one partner may think the other is cheating, it is never okay to invade someone’s privacy by going through their call logs, text messages or social media accounts. A healthier response would be to talk with your partner about your worries and concerns. If after that conversation you still suspect your partner is lying or cheating, that is a definite sign of a lack of trust. Without trust, a healthy relationship isn’t possible. If you can’t trust your partner, it’s time to take a step back and think about whether or not this can be healthy relationship for you.
Let’s be clear, cheating in any relationship is not okay and very hard to deal with, regardless of the status of your relationship or how long you’ve been together. Even Queen Bey seems to be struggling as she sings, “I’m not too perfect to ever feel this worthless.” Many people who talk to us about a cheating partner often worry that it’s somehow their fault, or that they should have prevented their partner from cheating somehow. Beyonce says, “I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less awake.” But it’s important to remember that the decision to cheat is made only by the person who cheats. If your partner cheats, you are not to blame, and you don’t need to change or try to be someone else. Your partner chose to break your trust instead of communicating with you about what they were feeling. Hopefully Beyonce realized this eventually, too!
At the beginning of “Lemonade,” Beyonce experiences a lot of confusion and anger, which are normal feelings to have when a partner breaks your trust (but like we said, it’s important to deal with these feelings in a healthy way!). By the end of the album, she’s singing about forgiveness, healing and love. We get the message that Beyonce has chosen to stay in the relationship. If your partner cheats, you can choose whether you want to trust your partner again and begin to rebuild with them, or end the relationship and move on. Building trust after cheating can be difficult, but it is possible. Remember, to have a healthy relationship, you need trust and respect. As Beyonce says, “Heaven will be a love without betrayal.”
Do you recognize any of the feelings or behaviors that Beyonce sings about in “Lemonade” in your own relationship?
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