A Look at Last Week’s Jersey Shore

A Look at Last Week’s Jersey Shore

Picture the safest place you know. It probably serves as a great source of strength, and it’s something you can always go to in hard times. Now imagine ripping that comfort and safety away, leaving nothing but shattered pieces of what once was.

This situation happens in the most recent episode of Jersey Shore when Ronnie destroys all of Sammi’s possessions. When Sammi finds the mess Ronnie left, she becomes overwhelmed and collapses to the floor. She appears helpless, unable to find the words to express her confusion over how someone she loves so deeply could treat her this way. Sammi reacted this way for a specific reason.

When one partner destroys the other partner’s things in their room or another safe space, a huge boundary is broken that unfairly strips the victim of their sense of security. This is an example of intimidation, a form of abuse that leaves a victim feeling scared and trapped, often to the point where the victim feels forced to give in to whatever the other person wants. Sammi lost that sense of security in her own house, which explains her reaction to the mess and why she considers leaving the house later in the episode.

Ronnie was not the only who was abusive in the relationship. Sammi’s jealousy caused her to force Ronnie from speaking to JWOWW. When this rule was broken, she responded with further abuse and punched Ronnie. In a healthy relationship, each person has the right to speak to and be friends with whomever they choose. A lack of trust (or jealousy) can quickly accelerate abusive behaviors so one person can get their way at the sacrifice of what’s fair to the other person. This is why Sammi set up the rule, and acting like that is never acceptable.

When one form of abuse is recognized in a relationship, there are generally more abusive things going on. With Sammi and Ronnie, each person also used name calling, belittling (like “you don’t deserve me”), and threats in an abusive way. If you think that more abuse is going on or are uncertain about whether abuse is happening in a relationship, a great thing to check out is the Power and Control Wheel on our website. The wheel does a great job of illustrating how abusive behaviors interact with one another and what sort of behaviors can be abusive.

Does looking at the power and control wheel remind you of other abuse that happened in Sammi and Ronnie’s relationship? Do you have questions about whether something in their relationship is considered abuse? Ask away! We want to make sure you understand abuse and what makes a healthy relationship, so please don’t hesitate to contact us if you are ever uncertain about anything.

Comment section

5 replies
  1. his reads to me like an example of mutual abuse. Last week, Sammi physically attacked Ronnie. Ronnie most likely felt it was too dangerous to respond at the same level, so she responded by destroying Sammi’s property. What Ronnie did is the type of behavior that is all too common when the abuser is female, while Sammi’s behavior is considered stereotypical of male abusers (but also is common among female abusers). This Jersey Shore really sounds like a show that is practically glorifying abusive relationships. I’m glad I avoid it.

  2. Keep up the great work! Thank you for working towards raising awareness on domestic violence, such a fantastic job, thank you for all you do!

  3. To be mad at someone is one thing but to completely trash everything they own is …… I dont think there is any word to describe it.

  4. I so understander where you are coming from yinepuhotep. that is so true and those are some sings of abuse in the relationship they are beter off separted.

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