Our NO MORE guest blogger Erica, student at The University of Louisville and American University and intern at Break the Cycle, wants cell phones to be used for good, not evil. And certainly not for controlling a partner.
College can be a difficult time for students. Many are stressed and are trying various methods to relieve the weekly pressure. Students are consumed with classes, papers, exams, work, and yes, even parties. This leaves no room for unnecessary cell phone drama. There should be no more worrying about answering excessive phone calls or text messages, especially from a controlling partner.
We all have those moments when our cell phone rings and we just don’t feel like answering it! For someone in an abusive relationship, it’s an unnecessary, added stress having to search for and answer the phone every time it rings, plus it breaks concentration. No one should have to worry about their safety because of a cell phone. No one should feel tracked, like a human GPS, because they’re being forced to constantly check-in with their partner.
Personally, I won’t explain myself for missing phone calls. The reasoning is always the same: “I was doing homework and didn’t hear my phone.” I will make and answer calls as I wish. There is also my old reliable excuse, “I’m doing homework,” when I’m trying to rush someone off the phone. However, my old reliable excuse wouldn’t work for someone getting relentless phone calls or text messages every 10 seconds from their controlling partner. Calling multiple times within 3 minutes isn’t only annoying, its unhealthy. It says, “Don’t you trust me? Or do you just want that much power over me where every time you call or text, I jump to answer?”
The harassment and abuse of excessive, non-stop, back to back phone calls or text messages isn’t ok. If someone truly cares about their partner, they would know that textual harassment doesn’t help, it only hurts.
I want to see a time when students don’t feel completely obligated to pick up the phone or respond to text messages to check in with a controlling partner. It is important for students to figure out who they are during these years without feeling like they’re always being followed.