Facebook official? Friends with benefits? Just benefits? The labels for relationships can go on and on. To us at www.loveisrespect.org, it doesn’t matter what name you place on your relationship, as long as it is healthy for both partners and you both agree to it.
Are you not sure if you’re both on the same page? Bring up these points and compare notes with your partner to know how to proceed with your relationship.
Exclusivity: This one is first because it is most important. Set clear boundaries so don’t unintentionally hurt or get hurt by your partner. This includes a wide range of behaviors. Can you date other people? Can you dance with other people? Remember that in a healthy relationship, one partner never dictates what the other can or cannot do. This step is just making sure that you both know the extent of your relationship.
Affection: Public displays of affection can make a partner really uncomfortable if not used to holding hands, kisses on the cheek, hugs, and everything else.
Time: How often are you going to hang out? If one person has a billion things on their plate and the other doesn’t, this can be a deal-breaker. Things can be different depending on schedules, so be sure to let your partner what your plans are.
Texting and Calling: How often will you text? Think really hard about where your own boundaries are and when you feel smothered. Do you need to talk every day? Or just when you need to make plans? If you are someone who responds to snail mail faster than a text, let your partner know to avoid hurt feelings.
Sleeping Over: Is it okay if your partner stays at your place and vice versa? If you have roommates, setting clear boundaries is a must. No one wants to be the hated housemate. Mention something to your partner’s roommate so they are always comfortable.
Any relationship arrangement that you come up with is fine by us, as long as you are comfortable. If you are ever uncomfortable in a relationship and need to talk it out, chat or call us anytime at 1-866-331-9474.
What else do you think should be on the negotiating table? What else do you like to talk about when defining your relationships?