Rihanna and Chris Brown made headlines last week when they started following each other on Twitter. Fans were especially outraged when Rihanna began following Brown. Rihanna responded to the outrage with this tweet:
“its f—– twitter, not the alter! calm down”
We’re not here to judge Rihanna. We know how hard it is to leave an abusive relationship, and it has to be even harder when you know that the world is watching. However, we want to talk about this situation with our readers because leaving an abuser can be a continuous act. Breaking up isn’t enough. Staying apart is crucial too.
We’ve all heard that question — can you ever really be friends with your ex? This question gets a lot more complicated with this addition — can you be friends with an abusive ex?
We at loveisrespect don’t recommend it. We know it’s hard to walk away from someone who you’ve shared your life with, but getting weighed down in the past can make it hard to move forward.
Here are some problems with keeping in touch with an abusive ex, especially on Twitter:
- Continued contact can allow an abuser to monitor your progress
- The abuse can continue if the person gets back in touch with you (though DMs, @ mentions, messages, etc.)
- It can be hard to move on and start another healthy dating relationship if you feel like you’re being watched or constantly reminded of your ex
- Seeing your ex in your newsfeed can bring back those bad feelings that you’re trying to get over
- Following their day-to-day happenings, especially about their new love life, can distract you from healing
If you are in Chris Brown’s situation, and you were the cause of your abusive relationship, keep in mind that following/friending your ex can put you at risk of falling back into past harmful behavior. Minimize any obstacles that could affect your self-improvement.
We wanted to give a shoutout to Rihanna’s fans who quickly spoke up about the situation. It’s hard when someone you love is still healing after an abusive relationship. We want to encourage all friends of dating abuse victims to act like Rihanna’s fans, and have your friend’s back in times like this.
What do you think about the situation? Do you think it’s harmful for Rihanna and Chris to still talk or not?