Have you ever wanted to help a friend in an abusive relationship but didn’t know how?
Have you ever tried to help someone and they didn’t end their relationship? Were you disappointed? Did you wonder why you even bothered?
Helping a person in an abusive relationship is frustrating sometimes. Be patient. Maybe they will come around and maybe they won’t. But by trying to help you show your friend that you support them and can be trusted. Remember it is difficult and scary to leave an unhealthy relationship. Take this quiz to find out how ready and willing you are to help.
- Your friend Elisha and John, a guy she met at work, have been going out for a while. One day, John showed up at Elisha’s school and saw her give a male friend a hug. John grabbed her arm and pulled her to his car where he called her a slut and a cheater.
If I saw this happen…
- I would tell Elisha that I was concerned about her and help her find information about abusive relationships. (2)
- I would tell another friend and hope that they would do something to help Elisha. (1)
- I would leave it alone. If Elisha didn’t say anything to me, it’s not my place to get involved. (0)
- Elizabeth is dating her classmate Marc. Things seem great, but in private Marc isn’t very nice. He grabs her arms hard and leaves bruises. When he found out she was pregnant, he shoved her repeatedly and yelled at her for messing up his life.
If Elizabeth came to me for help…
- I would tell her that I was the wrong person to speak with and that she should talk to a counselor. (1)
- I wouldn’t want to get involved because it’s not my problem. (0)
- I would let her know that I was there for her and go with her to get help. (2)
- Christina and your friend Eric have been dating for a year. Christina is really jealous and always accuses Eric of cheating on her even though he hasn’t. She texts him constantly and checks all his emails. When they fight, she calls him names and tells him no one else will ever love him.
If I heard Christina yelling at or putting Eric down…
- I wouldn’t say anything. Eric should be able to defend himself. (0)
- I would tell Eric that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way and that he should consider ending the relationship. (2)
- I wouldn’t say anything to either of them, but I would let other friends know that I thought it was wrong. (1)
- Rebecca and Janet met at the mall. When they first began dating, Rebecca was very sweet. Over time, she started putting Janet down and once ended a fight by slapping her. Things got worse and Rebecca told Janet if she ever left her, she would kill herself.
If I knew about all of this and another friend asked me if I thought Janet was ok…
- I would tell them to stay out of it—they are both girls. If Janet doesn’t ask for help, it’s nobody’s business. (0)
- I would pretend I didn’t know and tell them to ask Janet directly. (1)
- I would tell them I was also concerned about Janet and that we should go together to offer our help. (2)
- Ana and Jeremy have been dating for two years and have a baby together. Jeremy has been physically abusive toward Ana and even screams at their child. Ana loves Jeremy and does not want to break up their family.
If I told Ana I was concerned about her and the baby and offered to help, but she turned me away and said I was wrong about Jeremy…
- I wouldn’t take it personally and would later give her information that explained about abusive relationships and how to get help. (2)
- I would be really upset that she didn’t listen to me and tell her she was on her own. (0)
- I would leave it alone and tell her to call me if she ever wanted to talk. (1)
Look at the point values next to your circled answers and add the numbers up to get your total.
Simply take your total score and see which of the categories below apply to you!
Score: 8-10 Points
When it comes to your friends, you’re willing to put yourself out there and give them the support they need. That’s great! Being in an abusive relationship is never easy, so letting your friend know that they can count on you for help is the best thing you can do. Learn what else you can do to help a friend who is experiencing abuse.
Score: 5-7 Points
You care about your friend and your heart is in the right place, but you’re having some difficulty reaching out. Some people in abusive relationships may not realize they’re in danger or may be afraid to ask for help. You shouldn’t be afraid to reach out and let them know you’re worried about their safety. At least you’ll know you tried your best and they’ll know you are someone they can trust. Learn what else you can do tohelp a friend who is experiencing abuse.
Score: 0-4 Points
Dealing with someone who is in an abusive relationship can be difficult. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t at least try. Remember that being in an abusive relationship is scary and lonely, and some people don’t know how to ask for help. Be there for your friends. You may be the only person they can count on. Learn how to help a friend who is experiencing abuse.