Answer reveal for all Healthy Relationship Poll questions below!!
You are at the mall and you see a couple fighting. Things escalate and you see one of the partners hit the other person across the face. You are shocked someone did that, and you have no idea who these people are. What would you do?
You were correct! We received 107 votes and 89 votes were spot on. The answer is—INTERVENE! But why?
We know helping a stranger can be totally nerve-wracking. What if they yell at us or try to hurt us in the process? If you witness an interaction that seems controlling or strange, you may be seeing red flags for abuse in a relationship. Sometimes victims and survivors may believe that abuse is normal, so something you can do if you see someone in an abusive relationship is to let them know that abuse isn’t OK and it’s not their fault. You might try to wait to pull them aside and see if you can speak with the victim alone, and if possible, say things like, “you don’t deserve to be treated like that” or “you deserve to be treated with respect.” Abusers seek to isolate their partners, so reaching out to a victim can provide them with support that they may not be receiving anywhere else. Sometimes, NOT minding our business can be life-saving for someone experiencing abuse—even when that someone happens to be a stranger.
On the other hand, it’s very possible that a survivor might not want to be helped or might not want to leave an abuser, and you can’t force them to accept help they don’t want. Plus, because abusers seek total power and control over their partners, they may view an outside intervention as a threat to their power and control. This may cause them to escalate the violence against their partner once they’re in private as a way to reestablish their power. It’s definitely important to feel out the situation and determine whether it’s safe for you to intervene before doing so. We don’t want you to do anything that will make you unsafe! If you’re concerned for the victim’s immediate safety, the best way of intervening is by alerting mall security or calling 911 for help. We do want to mention though, that in a situation where the victim is not in imminent danger, consider these key points before calling the police. Now if you’re not sure whether what you’re seeing is abusive or not, feel free to talk with one of our advocates. We’d be happy to help you assess and come up with a game plan for possible steps to take to help a stranger!
Do you think it’s ever OK for a partner to share private texts or photos of you with their friends or on their social media profiles? Explanation below:
You were correct! We received 84 votes and 51 votes were right. The answer is—NO WAY!
At loveisrespect, we hear from many people who have experienced this form of abuse. Some victims have willingly shared images privately with their partners, only to have their partners break their trust and later threaten to distribute those images publicly. Others have had partners coerce or force them into creating sexually explicit materials in order to shame, control and manipulate them. Alternatively, an abusive partner might take photographs or videos without the victim’s knowledge and then use the threat of sharing those materials online to maintain control over the victim. All of these can be considered a form of digital abuse, which is also known as revenge porn. Revenge porn can be extremely traumatizing for victims and in some cases, it’s even illegal in some states! If your partner is pressuring you to send explicit pictures or videos, or if they are threatening to share materials you have shared privately with them, call, chat or text with us any time. Our advocates are here to provide support, safety planning tips, and can also connect you with local or legal resources depending on your situation.
Do you think it’s ever OK if your partner demands to know the passwords to all of your social media accounts?
You guys are on fire! We received 255 votes and 204 of you were right–The answer is—NO WAY! Well done! 🙂
While you and your partner may trust each other and have absolutely nothing to hide, it’s a concerning behavior to demand the password to your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat accounts. While you might be cool with following each other on social media, being forced to share passwords should not be considered a healthy relationship behavior. Why? Because controlling what you do on social media can be considered digital abuse! We know healthy relationships are based on trust and respect, so it might be helpful to communicate openly—and respectfully— with your partner, so you can find out why they are feeling they need to have access to your social media accounts. Also, setting clear boundaries about what’s right and fair in your relationship might be helpful. You deserve to have your personal space respected—whether in person or in the virtual world. Last, consider this: If you think you can’t tell your partner you are not comfortable sharing your passwords to your social media because you are afraid they might react with anger or violence, that’s a warning sign that your relationship might be unhealthy or abusive.
If you need help dealing with that or any other issues in your relationships, please know you can reach out to a loveisrespect advocate at any time. You can call us at 1-866-331-9474, chat online at loveisrespect.org or by text the word “loveis” to 22522 to speak with an advocate. Our services are totally free, confidential and 24/7/365.
Don’t miss our next poll this Monday, Feb. 12. Answers will be published on Friday, Feb. 16.
We hope to hear from you soon!