by Heather, a loveisrespect Advocate 

Survivors often experience anger due to the abusive things they’ve been put through, and self-care can be helpful for anyone- survivor or not- whose anger is getting the best of them. If you’re concerned that you’ve let your angry feelings lead you to choose abusive behaviors, check out this other post first. Remember that there’s no excuse for abuse– not anger, or mental health concerns, or addiction, or even past abuse.

Our feelings can get the better of us sometimes- maybe we’re so happy we shout in a space that we’re supposed to be quiet in, or we’re so sad we end up crying in front of someone that we barely know. Anger is the one emotion that is most commonly blamed for bad behavior, for making us act “out of control” or doing things we say we wouldn’t have if we weren’t so overcome with emotion… So, how can we wrangle our rage so that we are in control? To start, it helps to remember that feelings shouldn’t be judged and can’t be controlled. We’re only in control of what we do with those feelings- our words and actions.