Relationships exist on a spectrum, from healthy to unhealthy to abusive — and everywhere in between. It can be hard to determine where your relationship falls, especially if you haven’t dated a lot.
Is My Relationship Healthy?
- Your partner respects you and your individuality.
- You both feel safe being open and honest.
- Your partner supports you and your choices even when they disagree with you.
- Both of you have equal say and respected boundaries.
- Your partner understands that you need to study or hang out with friends or family.
- You can communicate your feelings without being afraid of negative consequences.
A healthy partner is not excessively jealous and does not make you feel guilty when you spend time with family and friends. A healthy partner encourages you to achieve your goals and does not resent your accomplishments.
But My Partner Doesn’t Physically Hurt Me
Just because there is no physical abuse in your relationship doesn’t mean it’s healthy. It’s not healthy if your partner:
- Is inconsiderate, disrespectful or distrustful.
- Doesn’t communicate their feelings.
- Tries to emotionally or financially control you.
- Keeps you from getting a job or gets you fired.
- Humiliates you on social media or in front of your friends.
- Threatens to out you to your family.
So, Is My Relationship Unhealthy – or Abusive?
Everybody deserves to be in a healthy relationship free from violence. Drawing the line between unhealthy and abusive can be hard. If you think your relationship is going in the wrong direction, check out the warning signs of abuse.
Remember, there are many types of abuse, and abusive behaviors are not “just normal” in a relationship. Even though teen and 20-something relationships may be different from adult ones, young people do experience the same types of physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse that adults do. You should take violence in your relationship seriously.
If you think are in an abusive relationship, you’re probably feeling confused about what to do. You may fear what your partner will do if you leave or how your friends and family will react if you tell them. If you are financially or physically dependent on your partner, leaving may feel impossible. You may also think that the police and other adults won’t take you seriously.
These are all understandable reasons to feel nervous about leaving your partner, but staying in the abusive relationship isn’t your only option. Learn more about your options for staying safe.