Are you in a healthy relationship?
Everyone deserves to be in a safe and healthy relationship. Do you know if your relationship is healthy? Answer yes or no to the following questions to find out. Make sure to check the boxes to record your responses. At the end, you’ll find out how to score your answers.
The person I'm with is very supportive of things that I do.
The person I'm with encourages me to try new things.
The person I'm with likes to listen when I have something on my mind.
The person I'm with understands that I have my own life too.
The person I'm with is not liked very well by my friends.
The person I'm with says I'm too involved in different activities.
The person I'm with texts me or calls me all the time.
The person I'm with thinks I spend too much time trying to look nice.
The person I'm with gets extremely jealous or possessive.
The person I'm with accuses me of flirting or cheating.
The person I'm with constantly checks up on me or makes me check in.
The person I'm with controls what I wear or how I look.
The person I'm with tries to control what I do and who I see.
The person I'm with tries to keep me from seeing or talking to my family and friends.
The person I'm with has big mood swings - gets angry and yells at me one minute, but is sweet and apologetic the next.
The person I'm with puts me down, calls me names or criticizes me.
The person I'm with makes me feel like I can't do anything right or blames me for problems.
The person I'm with makes me feel like no one else would want me.
The person I'm with threatens to hurt me, my friends or family.
The person I'm with threatens to hurt him or herself because of me.
The person I'm with threatens to destroy my things.
The person I'm with makes me feel nervous or like I'm "walking on eggshells."
The person I'm with grabs, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds me down, throws things or hurts me in some way.
The person I'm with breaks things or throws things to intimidate me.
The person I'm with yells, screams or humiliates me in front of other people.
The person I'm with pressures or forces me into having sex or going farther than I want to.
You got a score of zero? Don't worry -- it's a good thing! It sounds like your relationship is on a pretty healthy track, it's possible that a friend of yours does not. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, find out how you can help them by visiting www.loveisrespect.org
If you scored one or two points, you might be noticing a couple of things in your relationship that are unhealthy, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are warning signs. It's still a good idea to keep an eye out and make sure there isn't an unhealthy pattern developing. The best thing to do is to talk to your partner and let them know what you like and don't like. Encourage them to do the same. Remember, communication is always important when building a healthy relationship. It's also good to be informed so you can recognize the different types of abuse.
If you scored 3 or 4 points, it sounds like you may be seeing some warning signs of an abusive relationship. Don't ignore these red flags. Something that starts small can grow much worse over time. No relationship is perfect, it takes work! But in a healthy relationship, you won't find abusive behaviors. If you think your relationship may not be as healthy as you deserve, chat with a www.loveisrespect.org peer advocate to get more information.
If you scored 5 points or more, you are definitely seeing warning signs and may be in an abusive relationship. Remember the most important thing is your safety -- consider making a safety plan. You don't have to deal with this alone. Loveisrespect.org can help. Chat with us to learn about your different options.
Want to learn more or talk about your score?